Subwoofers

You have to love the phrase ‘doing the doof-doofs’. A silly term for describing a clever technical process where a device, either a subwoofer or a system-tuning equaliser, has both voice and ears. The voice makes tone burst sounds that sweep from low to high (and go ‘doof-doof’) and the ears are the microphone, supplied with the Velodyne EQ-Max12 – part of a new range of mid-priced subs from the LFE brand. The Digital Signal Processor inside is a five-band parametric equaliser – and it strives to set the woofer to best suit not just your room, but exactly where you put and point it.

Like a wolf in sheep’s clothing Adam Rayner finds that the power behind this sub belies its cute size

If you have a copy of Men in Black II or even Stuart Little II on DVD then you have the 2001-2002 Academy Award-winning animated short, The ChubbChubbs. Its stars are some impossibly cute, fuzzy things that look like ducklings with noses like piglets – yet they turn out to be scary monsters with huge teeth and a terrifyingly large appetite.

I love a purist. When I buy kit I want it to be the offering of those obsessive designers, who create trends that get the ultimate kudos of being copied. That’s why I love Velodyne – for its approach and its purity. A company run by utter bass heads.